I've been thinking about my beliefs lately; searching my soul for what drives me to live the way I do. As I've done so, I've felt compelled to share a little. I believe in God; I believe in a God who is both the omniscient creator of the Universe and my personal heavenly Father. I believe He is a literal being, and that we are formed in His image. I don't know exactly how he created the Universe---whether it was done in 6 days or billions of years; I think he has allowed us to know more through science about how some of that process happened. But overall I don't think He is as concerned with us understanding how He manages to be God as he is concerned with us knowing that He is. That He IS there, that He DOES know us personally, and most importantly that He loves us. He wants us to be happy, and to return to live with and eventually become like Him.
I know that with all of my heart. As I've sought to be pure and good, and as I've knelt in quiet prayer, sincerely asking if He exists and if He knows and loves ME, I've felt a peaceful, powerful assurance that He does. He is the Father of my eternal Spirit and He loves me. I have peace in my life because I know He is there. I have confidence in myself because I know that to Him, I have infinite worth. I am a Daughter of God, loved, understood, and cherished by Him. I love my fellowmen and believe it is SO important to treat them with love and respect because they too are His children.
I've absolutely had hard times in my life. I've had moments where I felt very alone, where I've fallen to my knees in angry, desperate prayer, wondering why I'd been abandoned and faced to deal with some very difficult emotional struggles. I understand when someone says that they just don't feel God's love for them, and that they don't understand why someone who everyone claims to be so loving could allow them to struggle so much. I understands that sometimes it's easier to think that there isn't a God because if there was there wouldn't be so much filth in this world. Honestly, I don't have all the answers. I don't know why some people have it so hard; but I know that God is there. I know He allows us to hurt and face difficult challenges because in some way, it will eventually make us stronger and better. Difficulties have the ability to make us more empathetic, more persevering, more kind, more patient, more selfless, more Godlike. As we struggle, but still turn to God, trusting in His wisdom, and trusting that He understands and feels our pain, but still allows us to grow, we are strengthened and able to cast off our burdens to Him. My little baby Jayden hates getting shots. As soon as the needle pricks his little foot he starts screaming, crying as though he's been abandoned and forgotten. But the truth is, he's in my arms. I cry along with him because I HATE to see him in pain, but I know that he needs the shots to be healthy and strong.
As I've gone back and reviewed my memories and journal entries of some very difficult times I've seen how my God did not abandon me. Friends and family were sent to me at critical times, priesthood blessings strengthened me, and in quiet moments when I was able to clear my mind and just trust, I felt His peace; I felt His love.
I believe in a God who respects our agency, our ability to choose for ourselves. He does not control or force us to follow Him. Unfortunately though, sometimes bad, horrible things happen to us because of the unrighteous exercise of someone else's agency. Sometimes people make bad choices and it negatively affects me; and while it'd be easy to wish that God would force them to not do bad things to me, I know He won't because he respects their ability to choose.
However, just because God respects our agency doesn't mean He doesn't care what we chose. There absolutely is a right and wrong. In order for there to be choice, there must be opposition. There must be a law in order for us to break it. God has revealed a way to live that will enable us to be happy because of the natural consequences that follow. For example, we know that if we eat a huge bag of candy in one sitting we're going to have a tummy ache, it's just a natural consequence. We can choose to not eat the bag of candy or we can choose to eat it. We have that ability, but we cannot choose the consequence, if we eat it we're going to get a tummy ache. God wants us to be happy. He wants us to respect ourselves, work hard, live peacefully and lovingly with our fellow men, and ultimately find joy. Through his word and spokesmen (prophets) He has shown us how we can do so. But we are free to choose whether or not we'll follow.
I think God's ultimate demonstration of love for us comes from his allowing his Son Jesus Christ to come down, live a perfect life, and atone for our sins. The Atonement of Jesus Christ, and what it means for us is an incredibly wonderful, but long topic so I'll save that for another day. Needless to say however, God willingly offering up His Son shows me, more than anything else, that He cares for me and wants me to return to live with Him.
We are not sinners in the hands of an angry God. We are imperfect people with a loving, mercifully just, and tender Heavenly Father who wants so much for us to know how valuable we are. He wants us to be better, try harder, and trust that even when we majorly mess up we still have the opportunity to turn around and go back to Him. There is nothing we can do that will make Him stop loving us. My relationship with Him is what makes me happy, confident, and at peace with my life.
Developing a relationship with God takes time. It takes work, trust, faith, and dilligence. We can't just kneel down once, offering a half hearted prayer, and expect Him to answer all our questions. We have to want it and work for it. But I promise that there's nothing worth working harder for, because when we allow Him in our lives we are so blessed. He loves us. He has a plan and a work for each of us to do. If anyone is interested in learning a little more feel free to contact me or look up this website.
Finally, I completely respect other people's beliefs. I haven't meant to be overbearing or weird. This stuff is just so important to me and I really wanted to share because I want others to know how I find joy and peace.
Another, far more eloquent talk on God can be found here. This was given by a man who has attained many scholastic achievements (including a graduate degree from Harvard) and has done a lot of good in this world. I'd highly recommend you looking up what he has to say.
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