Tuesday, November 7, 2017

"The Family Matters Podcast"

Have you heard of podcasts?

If so, go listen to my new show "The Family Matters Podcast" with Kindra Heilpern! If not, still go listen to "The Family Matters Podcast" with myself and Kindra Heilpern! You can access us in three different ways:

1. Through iTunes. Search for the podcast directory, type in "The Family Matters Podcast" and look for our logo. Pull us up and either subscribe (please do!) or just download what looks interesting. Please leave us a review if you listen!

2. Through the podcast app on iPhones. Just search for "The Family Matters Podcast" and look for our cute, pink lettered logo. Subscribe or download interesting episodes. Please leave us a (good) review ;) 

3. Through Stitcher Radio. This is a free podcasting app you can download. Look us up in the directory. 

4. Through our little blogspot https://familymatterspodcast.com/ 

Don't know what a podcast is? Let me tell you: I'm obsessed with them. Basically its ON DEMAND, FREE, radio about WHATEVER YOU WANT TO LEARN ABOUT. I turn on an episode about whatever topic I'm currently interested in and voila! Conversation baby. Folding laundry has never been so fun. Even the most technologically challenged people can do it (proof = me). Anyways, podcasts are the best and so I decided I'd start one. 


I've had the privilege of studying a significant amount of research about family dynamics for the last three years. I've learned so much and as I apply important principles, my family benefits and my life is blessed. I truly believed that if everyone understood some basic family psychology they'd find their relationships improved and the world would be a better place. As humans, we all fundamentally need love and acceptance. When we get that (especially from our families) we tend to be much nicer people. Much of society's problems come because people are not receiving their basic needs, including their need for love. Research has shown that children don't develop properly when they're denied love (duh) and while the results are not as outwardly obvious, it's apparent that lonely adults likewise struggle. 

So...I felt that this abundance of information needs to be more public and broken down into simplistic day to day steps. Research rotting in a library doesn't do good for anybody. I've enlisted the help of my amazing, intelligent friend who's schooling, profession and personal experiences add depth and beautiful insights to the conversation. Because we're both busy mommies, our recordings have been inconsistent which is why I've been hesitant to truly market our show. But, I've decided enough is enough and it's time to come clean. So come join our discussion and learn things like: 

--How to improve communication in our marriage
--How to find financial unity in our marriage
--How to develop friendship with our spouse
--How to keep marriage vibrant and strong during periods of transition
--How to improve intimacy within our marriage
--Childhood development and what to be aware of
--Using techniques from "parenting with love and logic"

And so much more!!

Some caveats:

1. Not every conversation is suited for everyone. I hate the thought that something I say may be triggering or difficult for certain situations; and so sometimes I'm tempted to censor myself. However, this is not being true to myself or the research I have to share. So just know that while Kindra and I discuss certain principles that are backed by research, there may be unique circumstances. We are speaking in generalities here, and although chances are you fall into the majority, some people don't. 

2. Sometimes I say dumb things and use lame examples. Aside from examples from what I've read, I only have my own life to go off of and often use personal stories to illustrate what I mean. Sorry if this bugs anyone. Just listen to Kindra, she's golden.

3. We're still learning to make our audio awesome so bare with us. I promise it'll be worth it if you do! 

Thursday, October 26, 2017

Max Update

Hey everyone! I've been asked by many people how Max is doing. Thank you SO much for your love and concern. I truly appreciate it. To answer your questions...

He's doing GREAT! He seems like a super normal baby and shows no signs of having been through anything. We are so grateful for this and thank God every day. Thank you for your prayers, thoughts and fasting on our behalf. Thank you to all the doctors and medical staff who helped us. We are so grateful.

Max is an adorable, happy little boy. His little tummy can be sensitive, perhaps because all his healthy gut flora were killed off by strong antibiotics (at least that's what the pediatrician and I think...). So, I have him on a baby probiotic, I take a good probiotic and prebiotic and I also try to incorporatd fermented foods in our diet as well as limit sugars. I've been a believer in good probiotics for almost two years now---they've helped me with my own digestive issues as well as eczema. But I digress...

Other than his occasional unsettled tummy, Max seems happy. He doesn't sleep very well at night, but none of my babies have so that may be more genetic. The night snuggles are precious, even if they make me a bit of a mombie. He's a very social baby and is happiest when he sees what's going on with everyone, particularly his brothers. He has the biggest smile and loves to coo and interact with you. He laughed for the first time yesterday and obviously I about died with delight. Babies truly are incredible and add such a beautiful spirit to a home. I'm so glad to have Max around.

Tuesday, August 22, 2017

June and July...Playing the Waiting Game

I'm going to pause the Max Meningitis Saga to update what we've been up to. Thus far I'm only (nearly) three months behind...hooray! 

June started out hot. Like nasty-I-want-to-cry-hot. In honor of my pregnant over heated self, Carter and I decided to allocate more funds towards the air conditioning budget. And rightfully so, because had we not I probably wouldn't have survived. Literally.

Besides listening to me complain about the heat, Carter, the boys and I spent a lot of time swimming, learning to ride bikes, and playing with friends. I worked hard at school every day; I was in the midst of the busiest semester ever and it was quite a juggle to get everything done. Luckily I finished everything a couple weeks before Max arrived. We also worked on last minute pre-baby projects. Jayden and Jackson LOVE swimming in Grandpa's pool and have grown confident with their swimming abilities (so long as they have floaties on). Our super fun friends from BYU days came to visit for a week and we had SO much fun with them. They really need to move here because life's better with them around. Our little boys had a ball. 

In July we played the waiting game HARD CORE. My doctor told me baby Max was fully engaged in the first week of July. Naturally I took this to mean he could come any day...so I hurried to get everything in place and assumed I'd go into labor at any moment. I also experienced prodromal labor EVERY. SINGLE. DAY. I had regular contractions for hours at a time and it became really discouraging. I could tell the contractions were not the real deal (they didn't have that sharp, fiery edge) but they certainly weren't comfortable. At week 38 my doctor said I was dilated to a 1.5cm and 80% effaced. He told me to expect baby to come any day (spoiler alert, he didn’t come until the end of the month). Meanwhile, the daily bout of contractions became even more uncomfortable. That, along with the increasingly sharp pelvic and back pain I'd had since about week 28 made me desperate to have this baby. Pregnancy is not easy for me and I was SO ready to be done.

While we waited we spent a LOT of time swimming and playing at Grandma's house. It was nice to be around family. My sweet friend also threw me a baby shower and it was just lovely. I loved having girl time and getting spoiled. Mostly though, we waited around for Max and I tried not to go crazy. 

Jayden and Jackson started having a lot of sibling rivalry and we wondered what to do about it. It seemed like there was always a squabble to break up. Luckily my friend gave me a really great idea for how to handle it. Basically if there’s any fighting or tattling, all participating parties get a warning. After two warnings they have to go to time out, and after time out they have to go sit in their room. When one comes up to tattle or if I hear fighting all I have to do is say “Boys, that’s strike one.” I love having systems for dealing with discipline issues because if I don’t know what to do, I’m quicker to lose my cool. And that doesn’t help anybody. Thus far, this has worked, but with Max’s arrival and illness I’d imagine we’ll need to rework everything when we get out of the hospital.
I do love the stage Jay and Jack are in though. They are SO STINKING ADORABLE. Jayden has such an interesting vocabulary and will say things in the cutest way. And Jackson is starting to talk a lot more. They play together all day and, despite their squabbles, honestly seem like best buddies. I love looking out my kitchen window to see them riding bikes in the back yard or playing cars in the dirt. I’m so glad they have each other.

As usual, life is wonderful and we are grateful. This little family of mine brings me such joy J
Getting ready for the Bubble Run with cousins

Jayden, Lacey, Kyrie, Jackson

Bubble Run! And my dumb brace....

Pre Race---Jayden was NOT in a good mood...but eventually he had fun :)

cute Jackson


Jackson leading us out 

Pink face from the bubble dye

I can't remember why I took this...but Jackson sure is cute!

Joys School end of year party 

Jayden refused to stand in front of everyone and receive his certificate...so Jackson filled in for him

The "crooked mile" at Fairy Tale Town

Jackson taking a water break

Friend Max, Jackson and Jayden before going to see Cars 3

Jackson "with the train table" Hoyjberg and our Jack after Cars 3

Trying to get a good shot of all our boys with their matching shirts and Lightening McQueen cars

This is as close as we got to a good pic...aren't they so cute!

Uncle Jett helping Jayden at the splash pad

Riding the train at the zoo

Face and Arm painting at the zoo

Uncle Dallan gave the boys binoculars and so we spent the morning going on "adventures"

Obviously the binoculars had to come with us to Home Depot. And we had to wear our Mickey Mouse and "Donald Duck" ears. 

I made some sugar cookies for friends and while waiting for them to cool before frosting,Jackson managed to sneak a bite into every one. 

Happy blurry Jack after a buzz

sweet sleepy boy

one afternoon during quiet time, I fell asleep. Instead of waking me up, Jayden went and put himself down for a nap too. it was magical

Almost full term here!

At night while Carter and I were watching a movie, Jackson snuck in and joined

Reading Calvin and Hobbes with Daddy :)