The Livingstons: April 2015

On September 8, I felt really tired and weird. I'm pretty in tune with my body and immediately wondered if I was pregnant. I decided not to check because I had my marathon to run that weekend and didn't want to get psyched out. So I kept my thoughts to myself and went on. The marathon went well, but it took me a good week to feel normal again, and I couldn't shake feeling tired. So finally I took a test and it was POSITIVE!

I waited a couple days to tell Carter so I could tell him in the temple. It was very special and he felt really excited. Though we told our families just a couple weeks later, we decided to keep the news fairly private and low key for the first few months. I was very excited and happy about being pregnant, but I was scared people would judge us for having another baby while finishing school. I didn't want my happy news spoiled by naysayers who don't have all the information, and so I just didn't tell. Though I know I shouldn't care, I did. And so we kept it pretty quiet; it wasn't really a secret, we just didn't broadcast it all over the place.

And actually, that helped things go by really quickly. Honestly, the first trimester is a blur. I felt really awful every day between the nausea and exhaustion, but I had school to do, a toddler and husband to care for and church assignments to think about so I just took one day at a time and eventually it passed. Some days Id take it really easy and just lay on the couch with my school work while Jayden played in a blocked off area. My cousin and friends would take him occasionally so I could sleep and that was nice. The first trimester was hard, but keeping busy helped it pass quickly.

My second trimester was a dream! I had way more energy and got completely over the nausea. Except for my increased appetite, growing belly, and decreased physical stamina I felt pretty normal. We found out that we're having another BOY at 20 weeks and we're so excited. He and Jayden will hopefully be good buddies. I've never been able to work out normally while pregnant; running or any sort of intense activity makes me sick and very crampy. So I stick with walking, light hiking, and light weight lifting and have found that it helps my energy levels. Until the third trimester...

The third trimester hit me like a ton of bricks. Literally one day I felt great and the next I felt super exhausted and crampy. I won't go into details, but I just don't ever feel very good. But welcome to life! That's how the game goes! Taking warm baths each night helps a lot with the discomfort. That and eating ice cream with carter :)

Jayden often points to my stomach and asks "baby?". We've been trying to prepare him for our new arrival but I'm sure it will take a lot of adjusting! We're excited for him to be a big brother, he's got such a tender little heart.

We're so excited for this healthy pregnancy. I know so many struggle with fertility and pregnancy and my heart goes out to them. We don't take this blessing for granted. I love motherhood. Yes it's exhausting, achy, and often messy; but it brings me so much closer to God and helps me get closer to who I want to be.

Ok I know I'm horrible about updating this thing. It's just so nerve wracking to put one's thoughts and feelings on the internet. It's essentially saying: here world, take my heart and judge it! Of course I could document our family history on a private Word document, but I'd like to think that through this blog I'm sharing the beauties (and realities!) of family life. And maybe somebody somewhere appreciates that. But anyways...

Life is good. I have a couple finals to study for and I have guests coming soon so I really ought to clean, but I feel like writing. So here I am. This is what's been going on with us:

Carter - Gosh that man is great. Of course I wouldn't tell you if he wasn't, but luckily he is so I don't have to worry about that. He has ROCKED his first semester of graduate school. He always goes into a semester not sure if he'll do OK, and then he comes away with great grades and a solid understanding of everything. It's not fair really, he just really gets engineering. He's been working as an engineer for the firm he worked for last summer. They have him work remotely while in school and over summer we'll go back so he can work full time. He's set to graduate with his Masters in Structural Engineering in December and we are SO excited. We've loved the "student" phase of our marriage, but it will be exciting to move on. Besides work and school, he hangs out with Jayden and I. He makes family a top priority and I am so grateful for that. Every night, after he's done with everything we watch an episode of Psych and snuggle. It's low key, but totally our favorite time of the day.

A few weeks ago he took me on an overnight getaway to Salt Lake City. It was so fun and relaxing. We've made a goal to go on a little honeymoon every year, and so this was our trip for 2015. It was way too short, but so so fun. Then right after that, my parents told us about a trip they were taking to San Diego and invited us to tag along. Even though it'd require Carter to miss three days of school, we decided to do it because life is short and we felt like being a little irresponsible. So Carter spent a few days getting ahead in everything and then we drove down. We had SO much fun playing in the ocean and relaxing with family.

Jayden has been so fun, but SO busy! He's become more of a toddler than a baby and it's both exciting and sad to me. I miss my little baby! He toddles really well and is always climbing on things or getting into something he shouldn't. Keeping up with him is exhausting! His personality is really coming through and I love having him around. He likes to "help" me while I do dishes, cook, clean, and fold laundry. I'll usually set him up next to me with his own dishes to clean or clothes to fold and we listen to music and dance while we get work done. I love that he likes to be with me and I'm trying to soak it in when I can. After a while he'll get bored and decide to go do his own thing and I've found that if things get too quiet than I'm in trouble. We have our hard days, sometimes he's just ornery and stubborn. Toddler psychology is difficult! But I'm learning how to handle it. Things are always interesting.

I've been fairly busy, but that's the way I like it. In my ward I serve as the Relief Society President and I've loved it. We have a good ward and I've learned a lot from some awesome ladies. I'm also in school and have to carve out time every day for assignments. This gets interesting, but as I've gotten Jayden on a good routine, it's not hard to find time to work. I honestly feel like I'm hitting my stride as a mom/student/wife. I've developed a decent system for things and I'm feeling pretty good...but of course now that I say that something has to rock the boat. Which leads me to our newest news...

We're pregnant! And the baby is coming in a month haha! Oh my gosh, it really is a month. I better get things ready. I've been meaning to post about this newest pregnancy, but things have been so busy! I promise we love this baby with all our hearts and are so excited, but life happens fast.

Anyways, this post has gone on way too long and is far too full of rainbows and butterflies. Just know that life is not perfect; every day I have my moments and I could tell you all about my shortcomings but then this post would never end. So there you are posterity. Enjoy :)