Wednesday, February 19, 2014

Today I am a Mother

I think in the past four months I have accomplished everything on my daily to do list like three times. Maybe. At times...that bugs me. I like to check things off---it makes me feel productive and important. Sometimes I find myself pushing aside more important things because I want to check something off; and by more important things, I mean my little son Jayden.

Because he's only four months old, and a fairly easy going baby I'm quick to get really into whatever  I'm doing. Be it folding laundry, studying for my cert, washing dishes, or cooking I find myself often calling out "Just a second sweetie, let mommy finish this" every time he starts to whimper for my attention. Today I caught myself as I was once again putting him off and I gave myself a thorough scolding.

I am home to be with him, to be his mommy. To be ready with a cuddle and a smile when he needs me. I am not primarily a laundress, a cook, a student, or a dishwasher. I am a mother. And sometimes that means that my other hats need to come off so that I can love on my baby. The moments that I snuggle him tight, watching his blue eyes crinkle into a smile, or put him on my lap for a story, or let him stand on my belly while we sing a song are more important then any clothes that need folding or tests that need studying for.

Surely it's important to keep my apartment nice, my family fed, and my studies in order. Of course I need to take time to care for myself and cultivate my talents. But all in all, right now I am a mother. And the time that I have to hold my baby close to my heart will be gone before I know it, so I'm choosing to put aside my to do list and savor every moment.


Sunday, February 9, 2014

Baby Jay Lately


One of these days I'll get to posting about the deep joy, gratitude, and satisfaction I get from being a mother. It'll be sweet and sappy and I'll probably cry as I write it. I sure do love my little jay! But for now, here's just a few photos of what he's been up to: 

Funny yawn

Teeny toes...oooooo I just want to kiss them! 

Almost caught a smile! 

Discovering his fist

When he wouldn't sleep anywhere but on my lap because his diaper rash hurt him so much :( bare bottom time is his favorite

Two months old! 

Playing with dad

Hands stuck in the air 

Playing cards with dad

Got a good hand! 

Caught a laugh! 

Three months old! 

First fohawk

Unveiling the diaper blowout

Mmmmmm yummy

First time wearing a suit to church...not excited about it

All better! 

Just hanging out




















Our Anniversary and Thoughts About Marriage

Alright, I'm almost two months late. Oops. But oh well, better late then never! Carter and I had our one year anniversary last December 15. Since the 15th was a busy Sunday, and we had a ward party on the 14th, we celebrated on the 13th.

Carter took me to a yummy dinner and we splurged on a movie. Usually we go to the dollar theater, but we thought that for our anniversary we could make an exception. We saw The Hobbit. Honestly, it wasn't my favorite (a little cheesy) but it was fun being with Carter. Jayden came along too since he was too little to leave with someone, and that meant that I spent more time outside the theater then I did watching the movie. Perhaps that's why I didn't like it so much...But he's a sweetheart and I didn't mind. It was just fun being out on the town with my two handsome guys.

Honestly, our society has a horrible view on marriage. Divorce rates are higher than ever causing more and more young people to give up on the institution altogether. Just a few days ago I read the post "23 things to do instead of Getting Engaged" and I felt sad. Not that you should sulk around, twiddling your thumbs until you find that special someone, but to say that marriage is a cop out just shows how far downhill we've gone. The author of the post is entitled to her opinion. I'm not trying to insult or attack her. But I very passionately disagree. I'm no marriage expert, and don't mean to be preachy, but my limited experience says that, yes...marriage is hard. It requires a LOT of selflessness, growth, change, maturity, patience, work, and a willingness to make sacrifices for the sake of the family. True love is a living thing, and without constant nourishment it will die. BUT...all of that is worth it.

The joy I feel as I snuggle up to my husband, knowing that he has pledged his all to me and I to him more than compensates for any difficulty or sacrifice. I couldn't imagine life without him--without our evenings laughing in the kitchen while we clean up dinner. Without the way he tickles and plays with Jayden. Without the way he knows to ask me "how I feel about how I feel" about whatever I've been reading. Without the way he prays for me every night, thanking the Lord that we get to be together. Nope, no amount of traveling or business starting or dating multiple guys at once could compensate for my relationship with him. Plus, if I really wanted to start a business, it'd be more fun to do it with him anyways! And someday we will travel!

 I love that man. I love him in a way I didn't think possible a year ago when we were first married and I know that I'll love him even more as we continue life together. Marriage is meant to last forever. It's meant to be the sweetest, most precious relationship upon which the family and society is built. I believe this with all of my heart and have begun to feel the fruits of that belief put in action.

So to any single person reading this who may be nervous about eventually making that commitment: calm down. It's amazing. If you're willing to give your all and work for it it you'll be ok. But in the mean time enjoy where you're at. Learn, experience, grow, and discover. And when that sweet someone comes into your life and its time to take the leap, go for it. Even if you're not yet 23.

On the grounds of the Sacramento Temple

Isn't he a babe?

A year later practicing our duck face

At the valentines dance he took me to last night :)