Today I am a Mother

I think in the past four months I have accomplished everything on my daily to do list like three times. Maybe. At times...that bugs me. I like to check things off---it makes me feel productive and important. Sometimes I find myself pushing aside more important things because I want to check something off; and by more important things, I mean my little son Jayden.

Because he's only four months old, and a fairly easy going baby I'm quick to get really into whatever  I'm doing. Be it folding laundry, studying for my cert, washing dishes, or cooking I find myself often calling out "Just a second sweetie, let mommy finish this" every time he starts to whimper for my attention. Today I caught myself as I was once again putting him off and I gave myself a thorough scolding.

I am home to be with him, to be his mommy. To be ready with a cuddle and a smile when he needs me. I am not primarily a laundress, a cook, a student, or a dishwasher. I am a mother. And sometimes that means that my other hats need to come off so that I can love on my baby. The moments that I snuggle him tight, watching his blue eyes crinkle into a smile, or put him on my lap for a story, or let him stand on my belly while we sing a song are more important then any clothes that need folding or tests that need studying for.

Surely it's important to keep my apartment nice, my family fed, and my studies in order. Of course I need to take time to care for myself and cultivate my talents. But all in all, right now I am a mother. And the time that I have to hold my baby close to my heart will be gone before I know it, so I'm choosing to put aside my to do list and savor every moment.