The Going Ons

In my last post I spilled my heart out about family life, and I'm feeling very vulnerable. So in order to lighten the mood and give myself something fun to read when I'm an old lady I thought I'd document some of the cute and not-so-cute things going on.

First off, my phone keeps dying. Which means I need a new battery. Which stinks. But alas...first world problems. It's so silly how some of our greatest blessings (like an awesome phone) can turn into annoyances. I'm just spoiled I guess.

Next, Jayden is D E S T R U C T I V E. Seriously. I turn around and BAM marker on the wall. BAM food storage all over the floor. BAM shampoo on the toilet. BAM library books strewn about. Goodness, who is responsible for this kid and WHY CAN'T THEY KEEP HIM CONTAINED?? I don't know. When you have an idea please send it my way. In the mean time I'll be picking up something or scrubbing off the last semblance of my sanity that has spilled onto the floor along with the peanut butter he decided to smear everywhere. Luckily, the child is cute. Often I have to decide to just let it go, laugh, take a picture, and enjoy.

Also, despite their messy ways, my boys are so precious. When Jackson was born and life was hectic I had to clearly decide to slow down and SAVOR. I want to savor his precious smiles and coos. I want to savor the way Jayden toddles around (destroying things...wait what?) and says cute things like "Good night momma!". The other morning Jayden woke me up by riding his little trike over to my bed and giving (I mean throwing) his cereal bowl at me with a "MO BREFESS!" It wasn't the easiest way to wake up, but it makes for a good story and I'm tickled every time I remember. For the record, we HAVE been working really hard on saying please and being polite. But come on, the kid isn't even two.

I love how much my boys love to read stories. For a long time I wasn't sure if Jayden even cared about reading because he never seemed to pay attention. I was really concerned about it because apparently the world will end if you don't have a good reading session with your kid every day. But then one day he was obsessed and now we have to replenish our supply of books very regularly. I love that he loves it. And I love that I know longer have to worry about the world ending.

Jackson is the most social little thing you'll ever meet. His eyes light up when there are people around and he's happy to coo to, smile at, and kiss anybody. He is such a precious baby and I adore him. He gave me a good 6 hour stretch of sleep last night and it was GLORIOUS (cue the hallelujah chorus). I am happy to report that my sleep deprivation is slowly but surely getting better.

I love to watch Jayden learn things. For a long time you just talk to your baby all day, hoping that he cares and/or is maybe learning something. And then one day he talks back, saying something EXACTLY how you'd say it and you realize that, jee whizz, he was paying attention!? It's fantastic. I love watching his cute personality shine through.

Mornings are horrific. I hate waking up in the morning---I literally need an hour before I feel somewhat human. I've always wanted to be more of a morning person, but I just don't know if that will ever happen. I really do love life, just not in the morning.

We've been focusing on eating a lot healthier (except we always have treats on Sunday because come on people, life without dessert is just sad). I love to cook and it's been great learning how to budget for and prepare healthy food. Maybe someday I'll write about that.

I'm obsessed with podcasts and listen to them all day. Laundry and other menial chores are way more fun when you have something to learn about. Technology is incredible I tell you.

Hmm, what else. School is going well for Carter and I. I'm taking an easy semester and it's fantastic. Someday, perhaps before the world ends, I will graduate. Carter says that when I do we will go on a fun vacation. So hold him to that cyberspace because I'm a girl who loves to travel.

That's about it. I'm blessed with so many fun and inspiring people around me. I love my family, my ward, and all my friends. Life is, as usual, just so good.

At the farmers market!

This couple who keep bees created a skin cream that helps with ezema. It's amazing! Go buy it! 

Jayden is obsessed with "boo-ball", more commonly referred to as football. Go Cougars! 

Playing in the rain :) 

Oh hello adorable baby! Please never grow up.

After morning jobs during the few moments before their outfits and hair dos get gunked up. Luckily they're pretty adorable regardless :) 

Wearing Jackson to the grocery store. Shopping with two babies is quite the adventure.

Love him

During our date night on the couch listening to our babies scream. And yet it was still fabulous. I sure love this guy. 

Yeah so this happened. One of those "we better just laugh" moments. 

Found a Pinterest brownie recipe we had to try for our Sunday treat and I decided to let Jayden lick the bowl for a minute because I'm a bad mom who wants my kid to get diabetes and salmonella poisoning. Jayden was all for it. 

Reading stories in our jammies or just a diaper because sometimes it's easier to go without clothing. 

Family Joy

Hi cyberspace. I've had lots of thoughts swirling around my head about family and happiness and I thought I'd share. I have to be honest, I have a really hard time sharing my heart on the internet. But I think it's important to show positive, honest views about family living because often only the sad, hard stuff gets attention. Please though, if you feel like throwing rotten tomatoes at me after reading, just don't. Because I'm really sensitive and heaven knows my husband has to deal with enough of my emotions.  

Today in Relief Society (a meeting in church for the women) my sweet friend gave a lesson about two of my favorite talks from last April's General Conference. The talks were Elder Christofferson's "Why Marriage? Why Family"  and Sister Burton's "We'll Ascend Together". I loved the lesson and discussion we had. You have to understand, I LOVE thinking, talking about, studying, and learning about the importance of family and family dynamics. I am honored to be a wife and mother and I hope to be a marriage and family therapist someday. Strengthening the institution of family is my passion because I truly believe that all of society's great problems could be solved if everybody had a strong, committed family they belonged to. So needless to say, I had to sit on my hands and bite my tongue to keep from talking too much during the lesson. I am proud to say that I limited myself to one comment, which is saying something, because I sure know how to talk.

Anyways...I love the family. I know it is a divine institution and that our happiness as children of God is intricately tied to our commitment to our relationships with each other. The Lord has given us the doctrines and principles we need to have strong families. It is from being committed to each other and Christ that the deepest desires of our hearts--to be truly loved, honored, known, and cherished---can be reached.

That being said, though we have been given a picture of what the ideal family situation looks like I think it's so important to realize that NO FAMILY IS ANYWHERE NEAR PERFECT. Maybe you didn't have parents who were committed to each other or you. Maybe you have a spouse or child who has hurt your deeply. Maybe, for whatever reason, you've been denied family relationships that you so desperately want. Maybe you have family members who have severely abused you. Or perhaps, you have an "ideal" family situation but struggle with the various human weaknesses of your family members. The thing is, everybody has something within their family that is brilliantly hard. But that's OK because we have a Savior.

Jesus Christ's Atonement can overcome any struggle you or your family is experiencing. It doesn't matter what it is, He is there. His grace is sufficient, He is ready to help. As we make and keep covenants with Him, regardless of where our family members are in their relationship with Him, our lives and the lives of our loved ones are blessed. We are more sensitive to His promptings and our capacity to do good is increased.

Trust in Him. Pattern your life after His and trust that He has the answers to your honest questions, concerns, and fears. Sometimes we get too concerned with the task lists of "righteous" living. We become like the Pharisees of old who were perfect at marking off boxes, but didn't see their Savior, though He stood right there. I loved President Uchtdorf's reminder to the women last Saturday that in the end, the gospel of Jesus Christ centers around love. Love for the Savior, and love for each other. Everything we do is about growing the love we have in our hearts for Him, and increasing our desire to be more like Him.

So what does this have to do with families? Family life is hard. There have been many moments where I've honestly asked God why this has to be so hard. But I've learned that as I choose to have faith, I am supplied with hope and can better see the good in my life. And when I focus on this good, I recognize the hand of God. I feel more inspired in how to do this holy work. And I know I'm not alone. So trust in Him, and rather than turning to Facebook, Instagram, chocolate cake, or worldly accolades for validation turn to Him. He will help, He can help bring peace to any storm. And I am so grateful for that. This is something I struggle with everyday, but I'm committed to keep trying. So join me! Because it's so much easier to do things together!

The world will find peace as we accept Him as our good shepherd and learn to love each other and ourselves as He does. Our families will be blessed, and we will find the joy our heart yearns for.