Hey Cyberspace. Today I need to let my hair down a little and share some things I'm struggling with. My purpose in doing so is to help others who struggle know they're not alone, and to process my challenges so that I might better find solutions.
Parenting is exhausting and hard. It is truly a refiners fire where you must learn to embrace the joy that comes from giving of yourself or shrink in bitterness. I am a very selfish person at heart and struggle every. single. day. to not be frustrated and whiny about what is asked of me. I want my home to be a happy, peaceful, nourishing environment. I want my kids to look back on their childhood with feelings of warmth. I want them to get every opportunity available to learn and grow. I want (NEED!) my life and surroundings to be organized and beautiful. I want enough time to connect with God, to sleep, to eat nourishing foods, to improve my mind, and to exercise. I want to fulfill all of my church responsibilities and make time to nourish my community. I want to learn new hobbies that will improve my home and mind. I want to do and be so many things BUT. I. JUST. DON'T. HAVE. ENERGY. OR. TIME. And that folks, frustrates me to no end.
What is the balance? What do I let go of? What do I put on a shelf for that nebulous "someday when things slow down" (HA!). There are so many wonderful ideas out there on how to live your life, and all make great arguments. I want to find my niche and feel comfortable with it. But I have no idea what my niche is? Am I the exercising/health minded mom? The June Cleaver homemaking champion mom? The hobby homesteading mom? The crafty mom (ok. we all know I'm not that). The intelligent always reading/writing/teaching mom? What do I want to be???
Because right now I'm the tired mom who is trying but usually failing. Anyways....I'm on a journey to figure out what it is I like and want to do with myself. In the mean time I'll be wiping runny noses and playing Thomas the Train with my littles.
Does anybody else struggle with this?
Tuesday, December 6, 2016
Wednesday, August 31, 2016
Welcome Home Elder Chancey! Family Pics
It has been a wild month! We've done lots of traveling and spending time with family. It all began when my little brother Chancey came home from his two year mission to Busan, South Korea. We hadn't talked to or seen him for two years except for one hour Skype sessions on Mothers Days and Christmases. We all missed him so much but were so happy for all he was learning and doing.
(post edit note: we did email Chancey each week while he served, so there wasn't COMPLETE silence. THANK GOODNESS!)
In our church, boys and girls have the opportunity to serve missions where they get to learn to love and serve people far away from their homes. The purpose of these missions is to help other people come closer to their Savior, Jesus Christ. Missionaries seek out those willing to learn about the gospel by serving and teaching lessons. They do whatever their mission community needs to have greater access to Christ's love. Missionaries work really hard to study the gospel and the language and customs of the people they serve. For 18 months or two years they focus their life on serving the people in their mission, putting off school, relationships, and even family. While this is a sacrifice, when we better understand the sacrifice Christ made for us, it feels natural to try to "feed his sheep".
Missions are very hard and serve as a "refiners fire" for many. The days are long and especially difficult when you're still learning the language and culture. Missionaries spend all of their time with a companion and have to learn how to get along or go insane. Although there are many challenges, as missionaries learn to focus more on other people and the importance of their work, they overcome and come away stronger. Not everyone has the opportunity to serve a full time mission. Sometimes life circumstances or health dictates that they stay home and in those cases we can rest assured that they will learn what they need to in another way. But for those who do get the opportunity, it is certainly a blessing worth celebrating.
I am amazed at how my little brother went away still a boy and came home a man. He came to truly love the Korean people and their beautiful way of life. As he's told us more about their customs, I can see why he loves them so much. He had opportunities to get to know a huge variety of people and learn so much from them. He has come home more submissive, humble, kind, meek, and hard working. Most importantly, he's grown to better love his Heavenly Father and Savior Jesus Christ and gained a further desire to love their precious children. I am so grateful for who he has become as a result of his service.
On July 27, we picked him up from the airport and were overcome with love for this boy of ours. After leaving the airport we went home and sat together as a family, peppering Chancey with questions and listening to him and Dallan play guitar together again. I was overcome with emotion --- it was a glimpse of heaven. We were together, filled with love and it was beautiful. That's an opportunity I wish everyone could have.
The next day we took off for Donner Lake where we spent the weekend playing in the water and soaking in time together. We put away all media and just focused on being. Every night we'd have a family devotional where the spirit was so thick you could slice through it. The peace and joy were tangible. It was a good reminder of what actually matters in life: faith, family, community. Opportunities like this put everything in perspective for me and encourage me to keep on keeping on.
(post edit note: we did email Chancey each week while he served, so there wasn't COMPLETE silence. THANK GOODNESS!)
In our church, boys and girls have the opportunity to serve missions where they get to learn to love and serve people far away from their homes. The purpose of these missions is to help other people come closer to their Savior, Jesus Christ. Missionaries seek out those willing to learn about the gospel by serving and teaching lessons. They do whatever their mission community needs to have greater access to Christ's love. Missionaries work really hard to study the gospel and the language and customs of the people they serve. For 18 months or two years they focus their life on serving the people in their mission, putting off school, relationships, and even family. While this is a sacrifice, when we better understand the sacrifice Christ made for us, it feels natural to try to "feed his sheep".
Missions are very hard and serve as a "refiners fire" for many. The days are long and especially difficult when you're still learning the language and culture. Missionaries spend all of their time with a companion and have to learn how to get along or go insane. Although there are many challenges, as missionaries learn to focus more on other people and the importance of their work, they overcome and come away stronger. Not everyone has the opportunity to serve a full time mission. Sometimes life circumstances or health dictates that they stay home and in those cases we can rest assured that they will learn what they need to in another way. But for those who do get the opportunity, it is certainly a blessing worth celebrating.
I am amazed at how my little brother went away still a boy and came home a man. He came to truly love the Korean people and their beautiful way of life. As he's told us more about their customs, I can see why he loves them so much. He had opportunities to get to know a huge variety of people and learn so much from them. He has come home more submissive, humble, kind, meek, and hard working. Most importantly, he's grown to better love his Heavenly Father and Savior Jesus Christ and gained a further desire to love their precious children. I am so grateful for who he has become as a result of his service.
On July 27, we picked him up from the airport and were overcome with love for this boy of ours. After leaving the airport we went home and sat together as a family, peppering Chancey with questions and listening to him and Dallan play guitar together again. I was overcome with emotion --- it was a glimpse of heaven. We were together, filled with love and it was beautiful. That's an opportunity I wish everyone could have.
The next day we took off for Donner Lake where we spent the weekend playing in the water and soaking in time together. We put away all media and just focused on being. Every night we'd have a family devotional where the spirit was so thick you could slice through it. The peace and joy were tangible. It was a good reminder of what actually matters in life: faith, family, community. Opportunities like this put everything in perspective for me and encourage me to keep on keeping on.
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| JOY |
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| Elder GQ |
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| Trentman Girls |
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| Trentman Boys...and Carter |
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| Couple goals right here |
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| Smooching on a rock :) you can't tell, but we're holding the boys too |
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| My little family |
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| This is my BABY brother. what the heck happened people? |
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| More smooching :) |
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| Jayne (Carter's sister) tagged along for the weekend to do our dishes and take our photos ;) |
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| Love. |
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| The best big sister a girl could have |
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| AREN'T THEY SO CUTE!?? |
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| The best little sisters a girl could have :) These two are so fun! |
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| Trentman kids |
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| The whole gang. Poor babies! |
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| When I realized that having a two and one year old around rock climbing cliffs was NOT a good idea |
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| Gearing up while I gathered the babies |
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| Chancey helping Jayden do a little climb before momma ruined the fun |
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| My handsome climber |
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| The guy in charge |
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| The RM |
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| Jayne |
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| Lizi |
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| Temple trip |
Sunday, July 24, 2016
Post Grad Life
Hello everyone! It's been a really long time since I last updated this thing. A lot has happened with our little family. My goal is to write here about once a week, but we'll see how that goes. In the mean time here's a little bit of our life:
In December we moved back to California after Carter finished his Masters Degree in Structural Civil Engineering from BYU. We stayed with my parents while we found a house to buy. That whole process took F-O-R-E-V-E-R but it was super exciting. Carter's mom Phyllis was our superstar real estate agent and did all the hard stuff. She's amazing. Go buy a house from her. Finally we found a little house in Roseville that smelled horrible but was the right price (those two features correlated somehow...). It needed lots of work and we were initially hesitant but it was the only one we were able to get into escrow and it felt like the right place. After a month and a half of spending at least a few hours every day (except Sundays) on a face lift it was ready.
We moved in and have kept busy with ongoing projects. The house is over 50 years old so we anticipate lots of busy Saturdays. But we love it, and are SO grateful for this opportunity. Our new ward family (the congregation we meet with for church) is amazing and so welcoming. One of my favorite things about the LDS Church's organization is that no matter where you are on the earth you are part of a ward family and immediately have access to a great community of people. It's such a blessing. Lucky for us, not only are we in a great ward family but both of our families live only a half hour away! And they are great! I love living close to everyone.
I'm loving having a real live house to play, well, "house" in. I love taking time to cultivate a happy environment for my family; and though I struggle every day, I find a lot of fulfillment in that role. I've been busy with school and wrangling my boys until before I know it, months have passed. Life flies with lots to do; all the more reason to stop and savor. Luckily I just finished my spring semester of school and I have six weeks until fall semester starts. PARTY TIME. Or rather, laundry time.
The boys are adorable and exhausting. Jayden is every part of what you'd expect a two year old to be and most days Carter and I wonder how the heck we're supposed to manage him. He's quite a handful. Consistently juggling discipline, encouragement, expressions of love, fun, and physical needs is quite a balancing act and we often wonder if we're getting it right. But I'm promised that I'm going to miss these days because it only gets more complicated, so I'm doing my best to relax and savor the way he looks into my eyes and says "Momma, I love you so much". Alright son, you're forgiven. He really is the cutest.
Currently, Jackson is our super easy child. So long as he's fed and rested he's happy. We can't help but squeeze and snuggle him every chance we get because he's truly the most precious thing. He starting to communicate with us better and often he'll toddle up to me (on his bow legs), take my hand and guide me to what he wants me to do. It's the cutest thing ever.
We're busy, happy, and so grateful for life. I will get before and after pics of our new house soon! Happy Sabbath!
In December we moved back to California after Carter finished his Masters Degree in Structural Civil Engineering from BYU. We stayed with my parents while we found a house to buy. That whole process took F-O-R-E-V-E-R but it was super exciting. Carter's mom Phyllis was our superstar real estate agent and did all the hard stuff. She's amazing. Go buy a house from her. Finally we found a little house in Roseville that smelled horrible but was the right price (those two features correlated somehow...). It needed lots of work and we were initially hesitant but it was the only one we were able to get into escrow and it felt like the right place. After a month and a half of spending at least a few hours every day (except Sundays) on a face lift it was ready.
We moved in and have kept busy with ongoing projects. The house is over 50 years old so we anticipate lots of busy Saturdays. But we love it, and are SO grateful for this opportunity. Our new ward family (the congregation we meet with for church) is amazing and so welcoming. One of my favorite things about the LDS Church's organization is that no matter where you are on the earth you are part of a ward family and immediately have access to a great community of people. It's such a blessing. Lucky for us, not only are we in a great ward family but both of our families live only a half hour away! And they are great! I love living close to everyone.
I'm loving having a real live house to play, well, "house" in. I love taking time to cultivate a happy environment for my family; and though I struggle every day, I find a lot of fulfillment in that role. I've been busy with school and wrangling my boys until before I know it, months have passed. Life flies with lots to do; all the more reason to stop and savor. Luckily I just finished my spring semester of school and I have six weeks until fall semester starts. PARTY TIME. Or rather, laundry time.
The boys are adorable and exhausting. Jayden is every part of what you'd expect a two year old to be and most days Carter and I wonder how the heck we're supposed to manage him. He's quite a handful. Consistently juggling discipline, encouragement, expressions of love, fun, and physical needs is quite a balancing act and we often wonder if we're getting it right. But I'm promised that I'm going to miss these days because it only gets more complicated, so I'm doing my best to relax and savor the way he looks into my eyes and says "Momma, I love you so much". Alright son, you're forgiven. He really is the cutest.
Currently, Jackson is our super easy child. So long as he's fed and rested he's happy. We can't help but squeeze and snuggle him every chance we get because he's truly the most precious thing. He starting to communicate with us better and often he'll toddle up to me (on his bow legs), take my hand and guide me to what he wants me to do. It's the cutest thing ever.
We're busy, happy, and so grateful for life. I will get before and after pics of our new house soon! Happy Sabbath!
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| Teaching at Youth Conference |
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| Bought a "daddy" car |
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| Professor Jackson hanging out at Great Grandma Harper's house |
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| Fourth of July Cookies |
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| At Fairy Tale Town with cousins |
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| Our little booball player |
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| At the Valentines Day Sweetheart Dance |
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| Before our weekend getaway to see Brian Regan |
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| With cousins at the zoo |
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| Placing in the JAA fundraising run HA...the only time I will ever place in any event (there were so few runners!) |
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| Painting Easter Eggs! |
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| At the zoo |
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| With cousins! |
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| A little Passover Dinner to get us ready for Easter |
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| With Uncle Dallan at his football fundraising breakfast |
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| That little smile melts me |
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| My parents found a 3 gallon jug of ice cream so naturally Carter and I had to help them with it...not a job for sissies |
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| The twins and I put on a Prom Dinner for Dallan |
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| Annie's welcoming decor |
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| Trying to take a pic on the Foresthill Bridge where mommy and daddy had their first kiss...Jay wasn't into it |
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| The key to our house! |
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| Welcoming summer |
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| Pics taken for Jackson's first birthday. I love this baby of mine! |
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| Happy little champ! |
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| Four eyes |
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| Jayden being an angel :) |
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| The aftermath of a preschool experiment |
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| We don't do pants sometimes. |
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| Coloring the Constitution for 4th of July festivities |
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