Hello! I'm Jackie Livingston, the one in the above picture who is risking her life while the handsome man (Carter) does a back flip. Carter and I have been married for 3.5 months and I decided that it was time to get started on some sort of family album so that when our future kids think we're old and mean we can have proof that such was not always the case. I didn't feel like scrap booking though, because, well I hate scrap booking, so I decided that a blog was the next best thing. However, despite my place in this "information generation" I am very challenged in all things technical so bare with me as I learn the ropes of everything. Ok...so in honor of this very wonderful Easter season I thought I'd make a few posts about things I am currently grateful for. So here goes:
***Disclaimer: Take any opinions/ideas/words of wisdom with a gigantic grain of salt. These are just my thoughts; I'm very aware that I'm no expert on anything.
As a twitterpated newly wed, I thought it'd be most appropriate to start these gratitude posts with the thing I'm currently most grateful for: marriage. I was raised in a home by two imperfect people who really loved each other. I've never seen them yell at each other, and thinking back I can't remember them ever saying anything bad about the other. Both went out of their way to put aside self and extend service and love to the other. They're each other's best friend and struggle to go even a couple days without the other. So needless to say, I grew up with a very positive view of marriage. I married a great guy. Carter is very patient, kind, hard working, talented, smart, honest, loving, and quick to express appreciation. I never dreamed that I'd be married so young; in fact I secretly made fun of "those" girls who went and got married their first year of college...well God has a sense of humor, and when push came to shove I realized that I wasn't going to give up my handsome man so I had better put on my big girl pants and commit. Marriage isn't easy---in my short time I've learned that it really is all about selflessness. No matter how great your spouse is (and trust me, I got a great one!) he/she isn't quite perfect and at times those imperfections are glaringly obvious. However, I've found that 99.99999% of the time, when I start to think critical thoughts, if I just step back and really think about the situation I can see how silly I'm being. Everyone has little quirks, and the trick is to accept and love them. I remember one night where, after some miscommunication, I ended up walking home on the ice after a long day and as I walked I was filled with various frustrations. I didn't like how I was feeling and ended up saying a few prayers for help in changing my views. Usually, answers to my prayers come very slowly and gradually but this one popped right up. The phrase "love is patient, love is kind" came into my head. I stopped dead in my tracks. If I wanted love in my marriage then I needed to be patient and kind. Patience is easy to extend when things are going right, but a true test of character comes when after a long day, you find out that your husband isn't answering his phone and has seemingly forgotten about date night. And for the record, I later found out that Carter hadn't forgotten, he was just held up with work and didn't have service. So really, I just needed to chill. But anyways, I've learned that if I want a good marriage, then its my responsibility to make it a good one. The funny thing is that when this is my attitude, I find that he reciprocates it and also does his best to improve the relationship and we end up happy. Or maybe I'm the one reciprocating...I don't know. We don't keep score. But I'm so grateful for our special relationship---its so comforting to have a buddy who's chosen to be with you forever. I feel so cool! Marriage is making me a better and happier person. Again, its not the easiest thing, but nothing worth having comes easy right? Anyways, I'm happy. This post was way longer than I anticipated, but just in conclusion here's a list of things that have really helped our relationship:
-Daily prayer together (listening to Carter pray for me is so comforting and heart warming)
-Daily family scripture study (again, a way to invite good feelings and a renew your determination to be a better spouse)
-Weekly date night (so fun!)
-Monthly temple trip (a cheap date night where everyone comes away feeling lovey)
-expressing appreciation for anything and everything
-talking things out, agreeing to disagree, respect the others ideas/feelings
-pillow talk about anything/everything
-don't talk negatively about your spouse to ANYONE. as far as anyone's concerned, he/she's absolutely wonderful all the time. This has built trust in our relationship.
-MONTHLY BUDGET MEETING where you talk about where ALL the money is coming from and going too....thanks for the idea Jenna!
-avoiding debt like the plague (except for a house and maybe a new car, but we're not there yet. we've just found that as we live within our means we feel more peace)
All of these were suggestions given to us by family and friends and as we've incorporated them into our marriage, we've felt blessed and at peace. Life is busy, but so great when you have a buddy to share it with!
