We've been busy with the holidays and day to day life activities. I feel like the weeks FLY by until next thing I know months have passed. We're still plugging away at our house and have decided that 2017 will be the year we work on our yard. So stay tuned for that!
Most excitedly though....WE ARE HAVING ANOTHER BABY!!!!!!! Whooooohooooo! Carter and I are SO excited! We are overwhelmed with this amazing blessing and can't wait to meet our new little guy. I am currently 19 weeks pregnant and glad to see the first trimester symptoms ease up. Many times I found myself googling "how to survive pregnancy discomforts with a preschooler and toddler" and unfortunately there wasn't much help. So, I decided that since that stage is behind me, I'd write my own survival guide with the hopes that it might help someone. Every woman and pregnancy is different so I doubt everything will apply, but I hope any tired pregnant mamas will find some comfort here. At the very least, I'll enjoy looking back on this post to remember what I've learned.
This post is SUPER long, so go to whatever topic suits you. I promise I'm not trying to seem like I have everything together, I just know this is the sort of thing I wish I had read a couple months ago. So without further ado, here are some things I've learned and am still learning
Attitude: The most important thing I can do was remember how grateful I am for this little life. Certainly, sometimes pregnancy comes at a surprise and it may be very hard to feel excited, but I think if we consciously recognize our negative feelings and either get help with them or deliberately work through them we can find ways to improve our thinking. On the hardest days I had to remind myself that this baby is a gift. As I let that truth wrap itself around my heart, I felt peace.
Connection with God: I know not everyone is religious, so apply this however you will, but I think that connecting with God every day is the only way I thrive in my mothering. Especially during challenging times. Some days I only have five minutes to give and others I can spend more time in study and prayer; but I've found that as I offer my heart and asked for guidance, I feel the love of my Heavenly Father and am able to better bear the burdens of the day. Making time for spiritual health, no matter your religion, brings an inner solace that buoys you up during difficulty.
Mood Swings: Without the addition of pregnancy hormones I am a very up and down person. I have a tendency towards anxiety and depression and have had to apply cognitive behavioral therapy techniques, relaxation methods, and ample exercise to help regulate my sometimes difficult moods. When I'm pregnant I notice that I tend to feel more down and easily upset. To combat this I first: recognize it for what it is. This is not me, this is my poor brain dealing with changing hormone levels. Recognizing this helps me extend grace to myself, and also see the humor in the situation. It also helps me not take out my weird moods on my family. While we ladies certainly deal with our fair share of hormonal ups and downs, I don't think that's an excuse to be rude to people, especially our family (I'm not perfect at this!). Instead we need to understand what's happening and then give ourselves the break that we need. Second, I do what it takes to help myself out. Whether that be taking a nap, going for a walk, writing out my thoughts, taking a break, completing a mood log, calling a trusted friend, WHATEVER IT TAKES! During a really hard day I texted my friend asking "At what point am I actually insane and not just a normal mom? I know that some insanity is par for the course in motherhood, but when do I need to get help". I think the fact that I even asked that question meant I needed some help, and I'm happy to say that I got it :) Some days are just hard, and that's OK. If you're consistently feeling blue/anxious with little to no relief, please talk to your doctor and loved one.
Nausea: I dearly wish there was a straight shot fix for nausea. I'm sure whoever comes up with one will be a billionaire. I pretty much always feel nauseous the first three months; some days it's worse but it's always there. I think the only way to deal with this is survival. If you're unable to keep any food down, certainly talk to your doctor. But overall, I say try to keep something in your stomach, get outside (the fresh air helps me), and know you're not alone. I was generally not interested in anything I had made, so getting take out or enjoying meals other people prepared helped. While I tried to eat nutritiously, I had aversions to a lot of healthy options, and so I did the best I could.
Exercise: When I was very early in the pregnancy (like 4 weeks) I ran a Spartan Beast. It was such a fun event and I had to be in pretty good shape to complete it. The current pregnancy recommendations are that you can keep up with whatever you've been doing at least in the first trimester. I assumed I'd be able to keep up my normal routine, but just a couple weeks after the Spartan I noticed a huge difference in my ability to exercise. I'd go to the gym for literally 20 minutes, doing light cardio and moderate lifts and I'd be light headed, dizzy, and extremely nauseous. I had been doing the Kayla Itsines BBG program as part of Spartan training, but I struggled through even half of her work outs. So, I cut back immensely. I slowed my cardio to a walk and only do a couple strength training work outs a week. These work outs are about 10-20 minutes long and I use light weights. Basically, LISTEN TO YOUR BODY. I went running a couple weeks ago and felt great, but then two days later when I ran again I got really bad cramps and felt awful. Every run has felt that way since. So I don't run :) Exercise is the most important thing I do for my mental health so I don't consider it optional; however, I have to go at a pace that feels good. And I love it! For me, pregnancy exercise is about supporting a healthy pregnancy, delivery, and postpartum recovery. It's not about maintaining a certain physique.
Caring for the boys: SLOW DOWNNNNNNNNN!!! Remove anything that is not necessary. Seriously. You can say no. That's the biggest thing I had to learn. Usually I try to multi task and struggle to relax in my home because I always see something to care for (cleaning, laundry, organization, etc). It's hard for me to just sit and be when there's something to be done. BUT my tired tired body needed to take it easy and so I would often set the boys up with an activity and then rest close to them. They'd do play dough or stickers at the table while I rested on the couch, or they'd play with legos in their room while I read to them. In keeping them contained, occupied, and close to me, I was able to lay low. When they needed to get wiggles out I'd make them obstacle courses in the house they could run and jump through. They loved doing "races" where they run from one end of the house to the next. And every evening Carter is good to tustle with them. Twice a week Jayden has Joy School and once a week we go to church where both boys have classes with kids their age so I figured if that was the only socializing they got it'd be fine. Occasionally we'd plan play dates with friends and cousins, and I just planned to take it wayyy easy once we got home (taking kids out is exhausting even when you're not pregnant!). But aside from Joy School, church, and the occasional play date, we rarely went out and that was just great. There were a few times where the three of us sat on my bed watching a movie and it was so fun. While feeling tired each day is hard, it's a good opportunity to sit and be close to your littles.
Homemaking: Simplify, delegate, and streamline. Early in my pregnancy before I felt nauseous I prepared 36 freezer dinners. It was two days of a lot of cooking, but holy cow it helped. Unfortunately, none of them have been appealing to me because of weird pregnancy aversions, but they've kept my family fed and our grocery bill down. If you can't do that though, either make very simple meals or delegate that task. As far as cleaning, we have one pick up time each day when we put toys away and straiten everything up. In the mornings we make beds and pick up rooms before the day begin and after meals I immediately put dishes away. Then whenever I use the bathroom I pick everything up and wipe down the counters/toilet as necessary. This sounds like a lot, but these little routines don't take much time and keep things relatively picked up. I do one, maybe two loads of laundry a day and that keeps clothes in our drawers. BUT some days (or most days for some ladies!) are just awfully hard, and on those days I say let it go and survive. Definitely. Messes can wait :) All will be well!
Rest: REST AS MUCH AS YOU CAN. I at least laid down during my boys quiet time, even if I couldn't nap. I make getting enough sleep a top priority, and trust me, with all the sleep I need, that's not easy. It's important to my husband and I that we get time together each night, so we put the boys down pretty early (7pm most nights) which gives us enough time to hang out, but still get to bed at a good hour. I also let myself sleep in until my boys wake up. Some moms swear that they need some time to themselves early in the morning, but I find that when I'm pregnant, the sleep is more important. So I give myself that grace and wake up to my Jayden saying "Momma! The sun is up! It's time to wake up! Hurry or we'll be late!" It's pretty adorable. Basically, the point is, make sleep and rest a priority. Your body is doing SO much work while pregnant and you need it.
Grace: Most importantly, give yourself grace sweet mama. While pregnancy is an incredible blessing, it is very hard on some days and it's OK to recognize that. If you're barely able to eat, and always feel like you have the flu, please don't worry about not cleaning/working/doing whatever you do usually. Just survive. Find someone you can express your feelings to. Pray with all your heart, and believe that all will be well. Your kids will be SO blessed by their new sibling. I think about my five brothers and sisters and can't imagine life without them. I am eternally grateful to my mom for bringing them into the world to be my buddies, even if it meant she was not at her normal capacity for a while. Honestly, the excitement of her pregnancies were some of the most wonderful times of my childhood! So rest assured you are doing important work and let the rest go. Say no to unnecessaries and know you're not alone.
Lots of love! I hope something helped someone!
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