Real

Hey Cyberspace. Today I need to let my hair down a little and share some things I'm struggling with. My purpose in doing so is to help others who struggle know they're not alone, and to process my challenges so that I might better find solutions.

Parenting is exhausting and hard. It is truly a refiners fire where you must learn to embrace the joy that comes from giving of yourself or shrink in bitterness. I am a very selfish person at heart and struggle every. single. day. to not be frustrated and whiny about what is asked of me. I want my home to be a happy, peaceful, nourishing environment. I want my kids to look back on their childhood with feelings of warmth. I want them to get every opportunity available to learn and grow. I want (NEED!) my life and surroundings to be organized and beautiful. I want enough time to connect with God, to sleep, to eat nourishing foods, to improve my mind, and to exercise. I want to fulfill all of my church responsibilities and make time to nourish my community. I want to learn new hobbies that will improve my home and mind. I want to do and be so many things BUT. I. JUST. DON'T. HAVE. ENERGY. OR. TIME. And that folks, frustrates me to no end.

What is the balance? What do I let go of? What do I put on a shelf for that nebulous "someday when things slow down" (HA!). There are so many wonderful ideas out there on how to live your life, and all make great arguments. I want to find my niche and feel comfortable with it. But I have no idea what my niche is? Am I the exercising/health minded mom? The June Cleaver homemaking champion mom? The hobby homesteading mom? The crafty mom (ok. we all know I'm not that). The intelligent always reading/writing/teaching mom? What do I want to be???

Because right now I'm the tired mom who is trying but usually failing. Anyways....I'm on a journey to figure out what it is I like and want to do with myself. In the mean time I'll be wiping runny noses and playing Thomas the Train with my littles.

Does anybody else struggle with this?