Welcome Home Elder Chancey! Family Pics

     It has been a wild month! We've done lots of traveling and spending time with family. It all began when my little brother Chancey came home from his two year mission to Busan, South Korea. We hadn't talked to or seen him for two years except for one hour Skype sessions on Mothers Days and Christmases. We all missed him so much but were so happy for all he was learning and doing.

(post edit note: we did email Chancey each week while he served, so there wasn't COMPLETE silence. THANK GOODNESS!) 

      In our church, boys and girls have the opportunity to serve missions where they get to learn to love and serve people far away from their homes. The purpose of these missions is to help other people come closer to their Savior, Jesus Christ. Missionaries seek out those willing to learn about the gospel by serving and teaching lessons. They do whatever their mission community needs to have greater access to Christ's love. Missionaries work really hard to study the gospel and the language and customs of the people they serve. For 18 months or two years they focus their life on serving the people in their mission, putting off school, relationships, and even family. While this is a sacrifice, when we better understand the sacrifice Christ made for us, it feels natural to try to "feed his sheep".

      Missions are very hard and serve as a "refiners fire" for many. The days are long and especially difficult when you're still learning the language and culture. Missionaries spend all of their time with a companion and have to learn how to get along or go insane. Although there are many challenges, as missionaries learn to focus more on other people and the importance of their work, they overcome and come away stronger. Not everyone has the opportunity to serve a full time mission. Sometimes life circumstances or health dictates that they stay home and in those cases we can rest assured that they will learn what they need to in another way. But for those who do get the opportunity, it is certainly a blessing worth celebrating.

     I am amazed at how my little brother went away still a boy and came home a man. He came to truly love the Korean people and their beautiful way of life. As he's told us more about their customs, I can see why he loves them so much. He had opportunities to get to know a huge variety of people and learn so much from them. He has come home more submissive, humble, kind, meek, and hard working. Most importantly, he's grown to better love his Heavenly Father and Savior Jesus Christ and gained a further desire to love their precious children. I am so grateful for who he has become as a result of his service.

     On July 27, we picked him up from the airport and were overcome with love for this boy of ours. After leaving the airport we went home and sat together as a family, peppering Chancey with questions and listening to him and Dallan play guitar together again. I was overcome with emotion --- it was a glimpse of heaven. We were together, filled with love and it was beautiful. That's an opportunity I wish everyone could have.

      The next day we took off for Donner Lake where we spent the weekend playing in the water and soaking in time together. We put away all media and just focused on being. Every night we'd have a family devotional where the spirit was so thick you could slice through it. The peace and joy were tangible. It was a good reminder of what actually matters in life: faith, family, community. Opportunities like this put everything in perspective for me and encourage me to keep on keeping on.

JOY

Elder GQ

Trentman Girls

Trentman Boys...and Carter

Couple goals right here

Smooching on a rock :) you can't tell, but we're holding the boys too

My little family

This is my BABY brother. what the heck happened people?

More smooching :) 

Jayne (Carter's sister) tagged along for the weekend to do our dishes and take our photos ;)

Love.

The best big sister a girl could have

AREN'T THEY SO CUTE!??

The best little sisters a girl could have :) These two are so fun!

Trentman kids

The whole gang. Poor babies!

When I realized that having a two and one year old around rock climbing cliffs was NOT a good idea

Gearing up while I gathered the babies

Chancey helping Jayden do a little climb before momma ruined the fun

My handsome climber

The guy in charge

The RM

Jayne

Lizi

Temple trip

Post Grad Life

Hello everyone! It's been a really long time since I last updated this thing. A lot has happened with our little family. My goal is to write here about once a week, but we'll see how that goes. In the mean time here's a little bit of our life:

In December we moved back to California after Carter finished his Masters Degree in Structural Civil Engineering from BYU. We stayed with my parents while we found a house to buy. That whole process took F-O-R-E-V-E-R but it was super exciting. Carter's mom Phyllis was our superstar real estate agent and did all the hard stuff. She's amazing. Go buy a house from her. Finally we found a little house in Roseville that smelled horrible but was the right price (those two features correlated somehow...). It needed lots of work and we were initially hesitant but it was the only one we were able to get into escrow and it felt like the right place. After a month and a half of spending at least a few hours every day (except Sundays) on a face lift it was ready.

We moved in and have kept busy with ongoing projects. The house is over 50 years old so we anticipate lots of busy Saturdays. But we love it, and are SO grateful for this opportunity. Our new ward family (the congregation we meet with for church) is amazing and so welcoming. One of my favorite things about the LDS Church's organization is that no matter where you are on the earth you are part of a ward family and immediately have access to a great community of people. It's such a blessing. Lucky for us, not only are we in a great ward family but both of our families live only a half hour away! And they are great! I love living close to everyone.

I'm loving having a real live house to play, well, "house" in. I love taking time to cultivate a happy environment for my family; and though I struggle every day, I find a lot of fulfillment in that role. I've been busy with school and wrangling my boys until before I know it, months have passed. Life flies with lots to do; all the more reason to stop and savor. Luckily I just finished my spring semester of school and I have six weeks until fall semester starts. PARTY TIME. Or rather, laundry time.

The boys are adorable and exhausting. Jayden is every part of what you'd expect a two year old to be and most days Carter and I wonder how the heck we're supposed to manage him. He's quite a handful. Consistently juggling discipline, encouragement, expressions of love, fun, and physical needs is quite a balancing act and we often wonder if we're getting it right. But I'm promised that I'm going to miss these days because it only gets more complicated, so I'm doing my best to relax and savor the way he looks into my eyes and says "Momma, I love you so much". Alright son, you're forgiven. He really is the cutest.

Currently, Jackson is our super easy child. So long as he's fed and rested he's happy. We can't help but squeeze and snuggle him every chance we get because he's truly the most precious thing. He starting to communicate with us better and often he'll toddle up to me (on his bow legs), take my hand and guide me to what he wants me to do. It's the cutest thing ever.

We're busy, happy, and so grateful for life. I will get before and after pics of our new house soon! Happy Sabbath!

Teaching at Youth Conference

Bought a "daddy" car

Professor Jackson hanging out at Great Grandma Harper's house

Fourth of July Cookies

At Fairy Tale Town with cousins

Our little booball player

At the Valentines Day Sweetheart Dance 

Before our weekend getaway to see Brian Regan

With cousins at the zoo

Placing in the JAA fundraising run HA...the only time I will ever place in any event (there were so few runners!)

Painting Easter Eggs!

At the zoo 

With cousins!

A little Passover Dinner to get us ready for Easter

With Uncle Dallan at his football fundraising breakfast

That little smile melts me

My parents found a 3 gallon jug of ice cream so naturally Carter and I had to help them with it...not a job for sissies

The twins and I put on a Prom Dinner for Dallan

Annie's welcoming decor

Trying to take a pic on the Foresthill Bridge where mommy and daddy had their first kiss...Jay wasn't into it

The key to our house!

Welcoming summer

Pics taken for Jackson's first birthday. I love this baby of mine! 

Happy little champ!

Four eyes

Jayden being an angel :) 

The aftermath of a preschool experiment

We don't do pants sometimes. 

Coloring the Constitution for 4th of July festivities

Think About That Resolution

New Years is just around the corner and with it comes the usual commitments to improve in some way, shape, or form. If you're anything like me, you'll probably start out with a few reasonable goals and then decide that they're just not enough and end up adding more and more until you might as well consolidate them into one "Be Perfect" goal. At which point you'll feel depressed, anxious, and decide that it's hopeless and you might as well just quit while your ahead.

So yeah. How about let's not do that this year.

But more seriously, the reason I'm writing is because I have something to say about a goal that lots of people make: the weight loss goal. 

First off, know that I'm passionate about this sort of thing, and I HEAR you. I have dealt with my fair share of body complexes and, at least some level, understand that brutal cycle many get into where they commit to change, get going, mess up, feel awful, repeat. May I suggest something a little radical when it comes to weight loss?

Maybe it's not us that is the problem. Maybe we're not a bunch of lazy bums. Maybe the messages we've been told about how to lose weight: i.e. eat less, exercise more, is what's wrong. Maybe we've been bombarded with unrealistic expectations about what we should look like.

Am I crazy?

Now slow down, before you start freaking out on me let's discuss this logically.

How long have we been told that all our weight problems will go away if we eat less and exercise more? And how long has that actually worked LONG TERM? Because, yes, starving yourself DOES help you lose weight. But for 95.4% of us, it only works temporarily (also check out this link to learn more about that statistic). Because our bodies are smart, and beautifully designed. They don't like to be hungry. And if we make them survive on less fuel than is optimal they will make adjustments (i.e. lower our metabolism and raise our set point weight). For a while, yes it will work. But over the long term, it will be, at best, incredibly hard, but more likely impossible to maintain and your weight will slowly creep up. So unless your looking to be a fitness model or body builder (in which case focusing on calories, macronutrient ratios, and more is necessary), maybe you should focus on a method that allows you to make the necessary changes, and then MOVE ON AND NEVER HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT WEIGHT PROBLEMS AGAIN.

America is simultaneously starving for nutrients while tipping the scales as one of the most overweight countries in the world. We are suffering from a myriad of chronic diseases that come as a result of our obesity. And yet we have a multi million dollar dieting industry that uses your hard earned money to tell you that if you just eat less (of their food!) and exercise more you'll (starve) yourself down to an ideal weight and magically be happy. BUT THIS HAS NOT WORKED. We are not all lazy slobs. The formula has been tried and found wanting.


Can I just suggest something? Before you commit to buying more magic "pills or potions" or whittle your calorie limit lower than it should be, can you do some serious research into what the actual scientific nutrition researchers are saying about weight loss. PLEASE??? No, not your friend. Not the usual "weight loss" company that's trying to get your money. Not the gym rat. Ask the people in universities who have dedicated their careers to studying the human body and how to NOURISH it to help it thrive. For a long time, their research has been buried in academic journals, only read by fellow researchers. But some incredible individuals, have decided to delve into the research and put it in layman terms.

And let me tell you, it's awesome. Yes we shouldn't be eating 10 bajillion calories, yes we should be active. But the research has shown that rather than concentrate on quantity, we ought to be concentrating on the quality of what we eat. As in, eat so much healthy, nutritious food that you're too full for the edible garbage that's advertised as food. And seriously watch your life change. Our bodies were not designed to be obese, and just like the quality of the air we breathe and the water we drink matters for our health, the type of food we consume matters too. You cannot live happily on 1500 calories of junk.

There's so much I could say---Living a healthy lifestyle has been a huge interest and passion of mine for a long time and I'm not the type to jump on bandwagons without ample evidence.
 I'm telling you that this new school of thought revolving around "quality" not "quantity" is the real deal.

So before you commit to lose the same 20 pounds, AGAIN maybe look at your approach. It is possible to heal your body's metabolism and discover your healthiest self.

I began my journey of learning about this different approach by reading The Calorie Myth by Jonathon Bailor. Grab it on Amazon. After frustrating attempts to gain weight himself and help people lose weight as their personal trainer, Bailor spent 12 years delving into the research of fat loss. This book represents his findings and has been endorsed by UCLA Medical School, Harvard Medical School, John Hopkins, and many many MANY more brilliant researchers. For an introduction to his ideas listen to this podcast.

Before you think I'm crazy, give this guy's ideas a shot. The principles of SANEity work for any food belief system--vegan, vegetarian, etc. Just about any question you could have is answered in either the book or in one of the podcasts so if you're interested explore that. There's no catch, no scheme. Just information and a new way of looking at getting healthy.

Love to you all (especially those who got this far in the post). Remember that you were not meant to live a life revolving around dieting and brutal workouts. You have too many important things to accomplish in life to be worrying about and hating your body. So learn how to care for it optimally by nourishing it with LOTS of good food, and then move on to what you were born to do. Good luck in your resolutions.

Early Morning Joys

A while ago my sweet cousin sent me a link to the article "I really love my daughter, but I'm not supposed to talk about that". It's an insightful and thought provoking read that I really enjoyed. Though not nearly as talented in writing, I want to join her in questioning why it is that we parents seem compelled to accentuate the negative when talking about our children. Or rather, why are there not words to express the joys associated with parenthood?

Now trust me, I know parenthood isn't all warm fuzzies and chocolate chip cookies. There are brutally hard days, I promise I've had my fair share with plenty more on the horizon. I don't think we do anybody any favors when we refuse to acknowledge the difficulties, because that only makes those who are struggling feel alone. So if you are feeling burdened down by your great responsibilities as a parent, know that you're in good company.

But...there IS immense joy. And I want to broadcast that. I want everyone to know that motherhood and fatherhood, though full of sacrifice, brings a sweetness unique to itself. These moments are so fleeting, and easily missed if one chooses not to see them. Yet they are there, and when we focus on the good and seek to have a heart full of gratitude, we can grasp and relish in them.

Here is one I've experienced just today...I'm not sure how to put it in writing, but I'll try.

At 4am I awoke to the gentle crying of my baby. It wasn't a distressed cry, just a "hey Momma! I'm up and hungry" call for my attention. As I went to grab my little Jackson, upon seeing me, his face lit up into the happiest smile. He cooed and squealed, as if trying to tell me about the dreams he dreamt and the angels who visited him in the night. I scooped him up as he kicked around, excited to be getting his morning milk. While nursing him in the soft light of a dim lamp, I rubbed his almost bald little head while he gazed up at me. He kept dropping his latch because of the smiles he wanted to share. I felt perfectly peaceful and content. Tired? Of course. A little overwhelmed about all that needed to be done in the coming day? Yes. But as I snuggled my little one close I was overcome with gratitude for his love for me. Despite all that I do wrong as a mother, I HAVE gained his trust. He knows that when I enter the room, comfort and peace is on its way. He knows I will feed him, clothe him, play with him, smile at him, and love him. It is a beautiful and noble thing to be so purely loved by such a precious little baby.

No day is perfect. There are things that go wrong, chaos to wade through, and some sort of stressful situation to deal with. But if we keep putting our happiness on hold until everything is just right, then we'll never find it. The trick is to savor the good while it is happening.